When A Trigger Takes Over
Have you ever been triggered out of your mind and your yogi-type-trying-to-be-helpful friend says, “Have you ever tried grounding?” and you want to just punch them in the face?
Grounding is a really helpful and important healing tool. However, for folks with complex trauma—especially due to chronic physical or sexual abuse—having or being in one’s own body—the site of the original trauma, may have been a great liability at one time and may still feel too risky. Common instructions for grounding may be hard to understand or feel disorienting. Even seemingly simple bodily sensations may feel dangerous, hard to access, or completely absent.
If the thought of “noticing your breath” or “feeling your feet on the ground” makes you want to high-tail it outta here, consider these 8 alternative starting points for riding out or shifting a triggered state.
To be clear, even these may sound hard, scary, or the last thing you want to do. Your body might still hate it. But consider these as possibilities of approaching and strengthening a new muscle and building a new threshold of tolerance. These have been developed with close consultation with folks with severe complex trauma. To quote one consultant: "From one dissociated mind to another, just try these! You never know, they might help!”
1. Present Timing #1: Say your or a friend’s phone number forwards and backwards. This can be a non-sensory way to focus your awareness in the present moment. How hard that is to do can give you a gauge on how deep in the trigger you are.
2. Present Timing #2: If you can identify the traumatic event or time period that the current trigger has sent you to, look around your physical environment or reflect about your circumstance for things that were not present at the time of the original trauma. Ask yourself (aloud if you can!) about these specifics: Did I live with my roommate Vanessa then? Did I have my dog Rover then? Did I own this coat then? Was baby Max born at that time? This might help communicate to the activated part of you, that time has passed.
3. Sensory Cues: Choose an object. You might select one object to serve as your go-to for when you are triggered. Describe 5 things about the object you observe through your senses. Here’s some ideas:
Is it heavy or light?
Is it smooth or rough?
Is it warm or cold?
What color is it?
What does it smell like?
4. Side-Step: This is a practice adapted from one shared with me from my mentor Tada Hozumi, out of the Aikido tradition. Stand with both feet on the ground and take a step to the right. Then take a step to the left. Then back to the right. Then back again. That’s it. Step from side to side. You might say inwardly or aloud: I’m taking ALL of me to the right. I’m taking ALL of me to the left.
5. Shake: Shaking is nearly universal mammalian response to trauma that quite efficiently clears and resets the nervous system. You’ve likely seen your dog or cat do it after an encounter with another animal, or taking an unexpected fall. Being triggered sends a person into a frozen place in one’s neural network and physiology, so sometimes it can help to just MOVE it. Maybe just start with your hands and SHAKE. If you can tolerate more, maybe arms. If it feels doable, add legs. If you’re really getting into it, put on a song and shake your whole body.
6. Chew on something: Hard candy or gum. Like the sensory cueing, this can be a tactile experience that brings your awareness into the present experience.
7. Pet an animal, or better yet, have them sit on your lap. I don’t have to tell you animal lovers how grounding an animal-friend can be. I’m sure there’s research out there on all of the nervous-system regulation that happens between humans and animals, etc.
8. Just do what you need to do: it’s ok to do whatever your body has figured out how to do to make it through a scary situation. Sometimes you may need to self-soothe, numb, or dissociate in ways that maybe don’t feel like “the best” solution. But just remember that if you are in a trigger, than you already survived the worst that can happen. You can choose to allow yourself to eat the thing or watch the thing or ride it out in whatever way you need to, and to try to be as kind to yourself as possible through that. We won’t judge!
What ideas do you have? What works for you? Got any feedback on our ideas above? Please let us know in the comments below, or by sending us an e-mail at info@thesanctuarynorthwest.com.
If you are a trauma survivor struggling with your physical and psychological symptoms, and/or the isolation and stigma of mental illness; or if you are past your acute period of symptoms but still making meaning of your experience and trying to integrate them into a balanced life, we invite you to connect with us! You can schedule a FREE 30-minute one-on-one conversation here.
OR consider joining us for our quarterly Seeds & Stories drop-in circle for trauma survivors. Get details and dates here.
Many thanks to Tada Hozumi and the expert Trauma Survivors consulted for this post.